Let me preface this post by saying that I don't actually cloud glaze. I couldn't come up with a more catchy title, so I'm running with it!
I was in Maine recently.
My aunt's (note: it's pronounced ahhhhhnt for all you non-New Englanders!) lake house has been my haven in recent adult life. Though I went there when I was younger, being an adult allows more opportunity for reflection and encourages appreciation of things we once took for granted as children.
This year, I spent only 3 days in Maine. After a year hiatus, you'd think I would want more time there. It was a strategic choice based on paid time off but I should have known better. My happy place deserves more time. I deserve more time in my happy place.
It was a good lesson to re-learn. Lake time with my family is non-negotiable. It is a sacred yearly ritual that must be respected not because it's a obligation to blood relatives, but a requirement for my soul.
The lake is my jam. It is my dream. My friend Amber always says, "if the dream is in you, it is for you." I wholeheartedly believe that. Your dream longs for you as much as you do for it. I am reminded of my favorite quote from Rumi: "What you seek, is seeking you."
Day 2 in Maine is cloudy (or partially sunny for the optimists). I take the kayak out for an hour and a half circumnavigation of the lake - one of my favorite activities. After lunch, the sun starts to peek out behind the clouds, making the water look like dancing diamonds. The boat was stationary and a perfect place to lay down to let the small sliver of sunshine wash over me.
I take a time-lapse video of the clouds only to realize the orientation was wrong (probably fixable but I didn't bother). The sun and clouds weave around each other like a dance. I always try to guess which direction the clouds will go. I plead with the sun to stay out a bit longer. The clouds roll in.
I realize that I'm just waiting. Actually I'm bartering. Instead of enjoying the scenery, I'm trying to change it. I understand that I can't live my life waiting for the clouds to pass. I have to enjoy the journey. I know that the sun is always behind the clouds even if I can't see it. Yes, I enjoy its warmth but I can't hate the clouds for making it less so.
It gets a bit chilly. I'm done waiting for clouds to pass. I walk back up to the house and rejoin the gang.
Next year, I made a promise to myself to go up to Maine for at least 5 days. It's already on my calendar, and come January it will be the first priority for time off requests.